Hum a Few Bar Exam

Prof. Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law School *


Published at 2 Green Bag 2d 125 (1998).


              You couldn't get what you wanted, but you got what you needed instead.  You sue for breach of warranty.  What is the measure of damages?


              ENVIRONMENTAL LAW:

              Big wheel keeps on turning; Proud Mary keeps on burning (or "boining").  What is the maximum level of particulate emissions Proud Mary may put out?  Is an Environmental Impact Statement required?



              Can my admitting that I shot the sheriff be used as prior bad act evidence in my trial for shooting the deputy?  If I want to introduce my prior denial of shooting the deputy, will I be barred by the hearsay rule?


              FAMILY LAW:

              I've got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack -- I went out for a ride and I never went back.  How much alimony and child support do I owe?  Am I within reach of the long-arm statute?


              CRIMINAL LAW:

              I'm an ordinary guy, burning down the house.  That's right -- don't want to hurt nobody.  People on their way to work, and baby what do you expect?  What sentence would I get under the Federal Guidelines for my arson conviction?



              I am the egg man.  I am the walrus.  Deconstruct.  Explain relevance to ruling-class influences in farm subsidies and the law of the sea.  Should it be "I am the egg person"? Goo goo goo joob.  



    *    Oddly enough, Eugene Volokh has been allowed to teach law at UCLA Law School.  For his baptism of humor, see Alex Kozinski & Eugene Volokh, Lawsuit, Shmawsuit, 103 Yale L.J. 463 (1993).  Thanks to D.L. MacLaughlan for authoritative transliteration.